Am I being tested?

            James is a great book to go through when you are not struggling. But when you are going through a few things, James simply hits too close to home. Like it starts with

            “Consider it pure joy … whenever you face trials of many kinds …” (NIV)

            Or as N. T. Wright’s version puts it

            “When you find yourselves tumbling into various trials and tribulations, learn to look at it with total joy.”

            James knew that the people he was writing to were facing many difficulties, including persecution for their faith, losing their income, getting put in jail; you know, little things like that. But the Holy Spirit makes it clear that this also includes some of the things we face, like sickness, being falsely accused, not getting the job you wanted, or needed, a relationship breakdown, and so on. And we have to remember that whatever it is we are struggling with is huge … to us. James bro, are you asking too much?

            I’m struggling with a few things right now, and I have been for a while. Now there are several things that I am grateful for, in the midst of my struggles, but I confess I am not full of joy. I have my moments, like after my prayer time in the morning, then I feel pretty good. But sadly that doesn’t seem to last all day. I’m not giving up though.

            Am I being tested? Well if I am, I’m not allowed to say that it’s God who’s testing me.

 James 1:13 “Nobody being tested should say, “It’s God that’s testing me.””

            Whoops, so who, or what, is testing me?

            James 1:14 “Each person is tested when they are dragged off and enticed by their own desires.”

            Okay then, if I’m being tested, it’s my desires that are testing me. But wait, there’s more.

  James 1:15 “Then desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin; and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.”

            I’m struggling with my health right now, and I’m unable to do a lot of things that I normally can do. My desire is to be healthy. I don’t think being healthy will give birth to sin in my life. What am I missing here?

            Perhaps it is not good health that is my desire, but instead it’s me wanting to be in control. I want to be healed right now, in my time, which apparently is not the same as God’s time.  I don’t want to wait patiently, believing that God wants me whole, but not seeing it yet.

            If I don’t put my trust in God, and patiently wait for his timing for healing, I’m going to start to say the wrong things. Unhelpful things.

            James talks about the tongue too. His illustrations are very powerful. I’ve been on a huge cruise ship, and it took ten minutes to walk all the way around the deck of this ship. I didn’t see the engines, but I’m sure they were pretty big too, and powerful. Yet all it takes to change the direction of the ship is a small rudder, at the rear of the boat. That’s incredible. The rudder is so small compared to the engine, and so small compared to the size of the ship, and yet the way the rudder is turned decides the direction that the ship moves. And it’s the same with what we say. I can say “God doesn’t care about me,” and suddenly my life direction is changing. I can say “God has forgotten me” and I am no longer walking in the direction that the Lord wants me to go.

            I admit that I have said something like that recently – and repented quickly afterwards. I said it because it was what I felt, but I repented because I didn’t want my life headed in an incorrect direction.

            God is good. I am fully convinced of that. And I believe that he has good things for me. And while I am not yet seeing all those good things, I will spend time giving thanks for the good gifts I have received. I will spend time worshipping the Lord, because he is worthy. I will spend time reading his Word and trying to live a life that honours him.

            I’ve been reading James a lot recently, and I will continue to do so. It’s teaching me how I should be behaving right now, and I’m trying to learn every lesson contained in James.