Change

            I bought a kayak. It’s called adapting. We had a couple of days away at a resort where they had canoes and kayaks available to be used by the people staying there. I have been struggling a lot with my back. The latest prognosis is spinal stenosis. But whatever it is, it hurts to walk, it hurts to swim, it hurts to play tennis, and it hurts to stand still. I walk and swim anyway, but everything else has been on hold. Then I took a kayak out. Just for half an hour. And it didn’t hurt!

            I ended up taking the kayak out four times in one day, and still it did not make my back any worse. So I bought one. I did look for a second hand one near me, but couldn’t find anything. Of course after I bought my kayak I am bombarded with ads for second hand kayaks.

            It’s very easy to feel sorry for ourselves. I’m getting older, and I have a bad back, and I can’t do everything that I used to do. My summers used to be filled with tennis, golf, rowing, swimming and hiking. This year I could not do much of that – just swimming. Although since it was so incredibly hot this summer I wonder how much I would have enjoyed tennis and golf anyway. But I could go swimming. Where I live I have both a pool and a lake, and I’m grateful for both of them.

            It’s so easy to get angry at God when we don’t get what we want, what we have been praying for. But one of the most important lessons I have learned is the need to be grateful for what we do have. Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, give thanks to God for what we do have.

            And then we can also learn to adapt. There’s no way that I can lift the scull I used to take out on the river, and then fly down the river on it. I would love to be able to do that again, but for this year at least, that is out of the question. But I can take a kayak out. I may not go as fast, but I do have fun.

            A couple of weeks ago I lost my job. I have been teaching part time at the local college for ten years now, but not this year. Nothing to do with my age, or my bad back. We used to have a large number of international students, and we could not accommodate them all, so the government cut back the number of visas. Now we do not even have enough students to fill our quota. The full-time staff have been safe, but most of the part time instructors have had to be let go, including me. That sucks.

            Although the money was nice, the main reason I continued to teach was because I wanted the challenge, and I wanted the connection with the students. I never worked in the summer. It was easy to fill up my time with different sports and outdoor activities. In the fall they mostly disappeared. How am I going to fill up my time now? It doesn’t help that I had always thought once I did stop teaching I would have more time to play tennis. But my body won’t let me play tennis right now. I have to adapt. I have to find other things to do with my time.

            I’m still praying about what to do in the fall. I have some ideas. Pickleball is less strenuous than tennis, and it could well help to meet my need for exercise and my need for social interaction. Then there are some groups that meet during the day at the new church I have been attending. And I would like to write more. All that plus cooking and cleaning and shopping could well fill up my time. I am trying to be careful not to over commit myself, and to make sure there is plenty of time to walk regularly, and to spend time with the Lord. I think I’ll be okay.